The holidays show up every year with a very specific energy.

Be joyful.
Be grateful.
Be flexible.
Be festive.

And if your kid melts down, side-eye included, please handle that quietly and quickly.

If you’re parenting a complex kid, you already know December hits different.

The Part No One Warns You About

School stops.
Therapy pauses.
Routines vanish.

Your child, however, does not get the memo.

The same kid who needs predictability, structure, and support is suddenly expected to handle loud houses, unfamiliar faces, scratchy clothes, late nights, and a whole lot of “just go say hi.”

And somehow, you’re supposed to enjoy it.

The Holiday Pressure Cooker

Here’s what actually makes this season hard.

It’s not the decorations.
It’s not even the events.

It’s the invisible pressure to prove that everything is fine.

To stay longer than your kid can handle.
To force traditions that no longer fit.
To smile through behaviors because “it’s Christmas.”

And then the guilt shows up.
Am I ruining the holidays?
Am I being too protective?
Why does this feel so much harder for us?

If you’ve thought of any of that, congratulations. You’re normal.

A Quiet Truth From One Parent to Another

The holidays don’t need to be magical.

They need to be manageable. Your child doesn’t need more exposure. They need more safety. You are not failing because your version of December looks smaller, quieter, or different. You are responding to reality, not Instagram.

And honestly? That’s strength.

This is the part I wish someone had told me earlier.

Pick one thing that matters and let the rest go.

Maybe it’s one short visit. Maybe it’s staying home.
Maybe it’s pajamas all day and zero apologies.

You do not owe anyone access to your child at the expense of their nervous system. You do not need to earn the right to protect your peace. Years from now, your child won’t remember the parties they skipped. They’ll remember whether they felt safe. And you won’t remember the judgment. You’ll remember that you trusted yourself.

That’s the real holiday win.

If this season feels heavy, you’re not doing it wrong. You’re doing it honestly. And that matters more than any perfectly wrapped tradition ever could. 🎄